STILL UPDATING - ' MAP OF BONES '

IN MY CURRENT SETTING-KONA, HAWAII

ON NOVEMBER 23, 2013

I FOUND A CELLPHONE ( SAMSUNG, IN A OTTER CASE ) AND WALLET FILLED WITH MONEY AND CREDIT CARDS SO I HAD THE POLICE CALLED TO RETURN IT AND THEY DID AT THE SHELTER; THEY PICKED IT UP. I FOUND IT WHILE PICKING UP ' CANS AND BOTTLES ' FOR REDEMPTION.

SO, BECAUSE I'M MAINLY A GOOD BOY ( YES, REALLY ), WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISMAS IS:

1. A BRAND NEW i PHONE AND, PAID FOR ONE YEAR OF SERVICE.

2. A BRAND NEW I MAC PRO ( 17 INCH ) WITH ADOBE PHOTOSHOP WITH ONE YEARS SERVICE ( THIS MEANS INTERNET ALL APPLE SUPPLIES )

3. LETS SEE....WHAT ELSE....HUM.....ONE LEATHERMAN WAVE

4. AND WHAT THE HELL, ' WORLD PEACE '

5. A BRAND NEW 250 G I POD CLASSIC ( BLACK ) WITH THE UP-DATED ' VIRTUAL ' VORTEX GAME AS ALWAYS
AND...LETS SEE WHAT ELSE....I GUESS THAT'S ALL I NEED, IF NOT.....' SANTA,' I GUESS I COULD ' TEST DRIVE ' A BRAND NEW SAMSUNG WITH OPINION IF WANTED, AFTER ALL MY OLD MAC'S HARD DRIVE WAS A SAMSUNG AT ' HAR ( T ) DRIVE.' HA ! MAYBE IF MY REQUEST IS GIVEN, WE'LL FINEALY KNOW WHICH IS BETTER, THE ' ROBOT ' OR ' JOB,' WITH OUT ' HACKERS,' WHO MAKES THE BEST PRODUCT.

ABOVE-OLD ODD FELLOWS BUILDING
EL PASO, TX.
THIS WAS THE PIN THAT I ONCE OWNED

STILL IN MY MIND

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT
THE PIN WAS DESTROYED
IN FRONT OF THE MASONIC LODGE
BY THE NEW BASE BALL FEILD IN EL PASO
TEXAS
THE STAR OF DAVID IS PROUDLY PRESENTED
ON THE WALL OF THIS BUILDING.
I PREFER THE ENTIRE BUILDING
TORN DOWN.
NEED I EXPLAIN AGAIN.
THIS will BE DONE.
SHOULD I EVER GET CANCER
LEAST OF WHICH SHOULD I
HAVE IT NOW, WHY WOULD
I SELL OUT TO YOUR HOSPITAL
WHEN I AND MY FATHER
WAS NOT RESPECTED WHEN I
WAS A CHILD.
THANK G-D MY ETERNAL
MOTHER LIVES.

THANK YOU FOR 20 PLUS
YEARS OF VALUE IN EDUCATION.

 

JUST ANOTHER ' DATE-TIME DIFFERENTIAL '-STREET NUMBER. EL PASO, TX.

 

 

 

 

I AM NOW ABOUT 48 % FOR THE EXTERMINATION OF ALL HOMOSEXUALS
THE REFERENCE TO ME AS ' HITLER ' ALL THOSE YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS UNDER SELF-HYPNOSIS AND IN A MEDITATION. ' THEY ' SEEMED SEPARATED FROM ONE ANOTHER AND FROM DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS AND ASKING QUESTIONS AND MAKING STATEMENTS AND JUDGEMENTS.

BROWN SHIRT WAS MENTIONED
MUSTACHE MENTIONED-ODDLY ENOUGH PEOPLE THAT I NEVER MET SEEMED TO ' WIPE ' THE AREA ABOVE THEIR LIPS, MALE AND FEMALE. 2005-ONWARD.
ALL THE HOLOCAUST VICTIMS THAT I HAD MET SEEMED TO BE OF GREAT INTEREST.
" SHARE THE WEALTH "- DAY IN DAY OUT, NIGHT AFTER NIGHT.
PHYCIC OVERLAY MIGHT OF OCCURRED; THE CONTINUATION OF THE ' MENTAL RAPE ' AFTER 2002-2003 ( 9-11 AND ' INFORMATION ACT, ' WHEN OUR GOVERNMENT ASKED FOR ALL AND ANY INFORMATION AFTER ' TWIN TOWER ATTACKS.' I WAS ASKED TO COMPLY, AND DID SO. MY OATH TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. NO ONE PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH, I SPOKE OF ALL THAT I ONLY SAW AND HEARD. )
ALL OF THIS ABOUT 7-8 YEARS AGO, SOME ' ONGOING.'

I TOOK THE OATH/CONSTITUTION ' MANY ' OF YOU FUCKS DIDN'T.

I FULLY UNDERSTAND TO A LARGE DEGREE, THOUGH NOT FULLY, WHY ' HITLER ' FIRST ' DISCIPLINED ' THEM FIRST- THIS IS THE SECOND ROUND OF ATTACKS-7-8 YEARS AGO.

MAJOR SUGGESTION FOR ALL SHELTERS IN USA

1----ALL CELL PHONES AND MP-3 PLAYERS LEFT AT FRONT, COUNTER BEFORE ENTRY.

2----CONCERNING ALL NIGHT TIME STAFF, NO COMPUTER USE OR CELL PHONES. THEY ARE UNDER LOCK AND KEY.

3----VIDEO CAMERAS EVERYWHERE-NO TIME LAPSE. ' GAPS IN TIME.'

THE ONGOING ' RECRUITMENT ' FOR THE DRUG TRADE AND SEXUAL PERSUASION BY WAY OF USE OF ' PERSONAL ALTER EGOS (' CELLPHONES '- MIND MELDS. YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ SOME ARTICLES ABOUT CELLPHONES AND COMPUTERS ) WHEN THE CLIENTS ARE AT THEIR LOWEST, GOES CONTRARY TO THAT WHICH UMBRELLA'S MOST SHELTERS, UNLESS THEY ARE TRULY RUN BY ' ONLY ' LUCIFER, and not primary churches with claim to represent G-D or The Living Body of Jesus Christ minus the ' bodily ' blashpany. 

SEVEN TO EIGHT YEARS AGO, " DON'T BE SUCH A ' NANCY '-ONE OF THE PEOPLE I USED TO KNOWN, LIBRARIAN WHO WAS ALWAYS TRAVELING TO WASHINGTON DC. IN CAPACITY REGARDING HER JOB ( funny thing, every library that I have been to, has been dominated by ' gays ' if not run by them and all the problems along the way ), THIS WAS A DIRECT RELATIONSHIP WITH ' VIEWING ' OF ONLY ONE WORLD DOMINATED WITH MEN; ' FAGGOTS.'

EVEN LESBIANS ARE/WERE ' WORTHLESS.' THE ' WOMB ' WAS COMPLETELY CONQUERED/ABANDONED.

WHY WOULD WOMEN AND CHILDREN BE OF ANY IMPORTANCE WHEN ' ENVY ' AND THE COMPLETE CONTROL AND DOMINANCE OF THIS ' TRAIT ' HAS BEEN ACHIEVED.

FOR THE BENEFIT OF WHOM....WHO'S god OR ' STATE OF MIND ? '

FOR THE VA, YOU PIECES OF SHIT....DO NOT GIVE OUT THOSE ' TARGETS,' THOSE " SUPPORT OUR TROOPS " BRACELETS; VETS----IN A SHELTER YOU WILL BE LEFT TO THE FALSE X-TAINS, WHORES AND DRUG TRADERS AND ' MISGUIDED YOUTH,' NOT TO MENTION THE PERVERTS, REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY ' SERVE ( D ).

THESE ' THINGS ' WILL USE YOU, DISARM YOU, STEAL YOUR MONEY AND TRY VERY HARD TO DRIVE YOU ' NUTS.' ALL THE WHILE ' STAFF ' PREACHES ' G-D.'

PRESIDENT OBAMA YOU HAVE MORE PROBLEMS IN HAWAII THAN YOU KNOW.

A HUGE MISTAKE WAS MADE IN THE US MILITARY YEARS AGO AND ONCE AGAIN WE ARE FIGHTING THE ENEMY WITHIN OUR OWN COUNTRY.

SEVEN-EIGHT YEARS AGO

1.----' TOKYO ROSE ' AND ' HER ' CONTEMPORARY IN REGARDS TO KOREAN WAR ( POLICE ACTION ). THIS HAD TO DO WITH AN ' UNDERLYING ' BROADCAST OF WHICH SUPPOSEDLY ONLY THE SUB-CONSCIENCE WOULD PICK UP; IMPORTANCE OF WHICH WOULD BE ANALIZED BY PUBLICE AS TO INDIDUAL ' IMPORTANCE OF APPLICALE  INFORMATION ' DUE EDUCATION. PHYCOLOGICAL WARFARE.

2.----' I WAS ' TOLD ' TO WATCH PUBLIC EDUCATION PROGRAM DEALING WITH JAPANESE CONFINEMENT CAMP ' PARTICIPANT.' ---- ' VOICES ' WERE BARTON PRICE, ' UNKNOWN,' MY FATHER, AND SOME ONE WHO I ASSUMED WAS JAPANESE (? I DON'T SPEAK IT ). ALL THIS ALBQ. NM.

3.---- " BART, DON'T YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? " " READ THE BIBLE PAGE...." DON'T REMEMBER THE REST. HOWEVER WHEN I WAS FINALLY ' BROKEN DOWN ' I DID, THIS WAS IN THE MORNING AND THE LEFT HAND SIDE WAS ETHER HEBREW OR ARABIC AND WHAT ' SEEMED ' ABOVE ME AND IN FRONT OF ME WAS AGAIN AUGMENTING THE REASONING AND IMPORTANCE ALMOST TO THE POINT OF A ' RELIGIOUS ' UNDERSTANDING IN CONVEYANCE OF THE ' DEFENSE AND, OR ADVERTISING ' OF SEX BETWEEN ADULTS AND CHILDREN.

I THEN THREW THE BIBLE, THE MASK AT THAT POINT IN TIME, AGAINST THE FAR WALL AND THE ' SPELL,' IF YOU WELL, WAS COMPLETELY GONE, BROKEN. THE ' STATIC,' WHICH WAS VERY REAL DISAPPEARED.

I COULD HEAR EVERYTHING OUTSIDE, BIRDS, TRAFFIC ETC.

I WENT TO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH ON LOMAS BLVD. A LITTLE LATER, ALL THE WOMEN SEEMED ' ALERT ' AND THE PRIEST WHEN I ASKED ' WHAT WAS THE ORIGINAL SIN,' HE WAS HURRIEDLY EXCLAIMING IN ' HIGH ' ENGLISH AND LATIN, AND FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I CAN'T REMEMBER. HE SAID IT TO FAST BEFORE HE JUMPED INTO THE CHURCHES CAR.

NOW IT IS BECOMING EVER SO MUCH MORE  ' TRANSPARENT '  AS TO THE COMPLETE VIOLATIONS TO MY ....JUST ABOUT EVERY RIGHT I HAVE HAD, BY THE UNITED STATES MILITARY, AND FROM A MAN THAT I NEVER VOTED FOR, TAKING UP THE SWORD TO GET RID OF ONCE AND FOR ALL THE SHIT FROM THE TOP DOWN TO THE PRIVATES AND SEAMEN WHO HAVE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF ' ANY AND ALL TECHNOLOGIES ' AGAINST US CITIZENS AND KNOWN NON-COMBATANTS, MOST ESPECIALLY AGAINST THEIR WILL, FUCKIN HUR-RAH!

I TOLD THE TRUTH ALONG. I WILL TRY FOR ' GENERAL UNDER HONORABLE CONDITIONS ' ONLY ONCE.

AND I PRAY THAT I WILL ONCE AGAIN LOOK TO THE UNIFORM MUCH LIKE THAT OF SARGENT MAJOR, AT THE TIME, WARE. A NEIGHBOR WHEN I WAS A KID, NO RELATION TO THE OTHER.

Mr. Ware's son was my one of my childhood friends, his father
was informed that we couldn't play with his son's GI Joes, as
to my father's request and for the sake of both children's friendship
and both parents, as adults in the bonds of respect, we both played
with other toys. Otherwise, I would not be allowed to go to his
house after school and weekends. That's who my father was
back then, close to Ft. Bliss.

EL PASO, TX.

EL PASO,TX.

UPDATED-11-16-2013-END-SATAN

HITS-CHAPTER 77


THE ALEXANDRIA LINK by Steve Berry, copyright 2007
1-Dave Berry-neighbor-Albq., NM
then
2-New Mayor-Berry-Albq.,NM 2009-2010 ( ? )

page 432=9
page 433=10=1= ' REPETITION

PAGE 433

MARYLAND-BASEBALL CAP-FRIENDS WHO WORKED FOR AGENCY

STEPANIE-MY SISTER

FOX-NEWS-MY CALENDER WHEN DATING DR.HUGHSTON

PATRONS-' ART PATRONS,'- THE NUT, MIDDLE EASTERNER BARTON PRINCE

SECRET SERVICE-VIDEO/PHOTOS McCain RALLY

CLEANUP-FORT BLISS-SOLDIER-' WHITEWASH,'-DRUGS AND RACEAL RAPES

GREEN-MADIAN NAME OF MY NEIGHBOR IN ALBQ.,NM-( I NEVER SPOKE OF THIS )

DALEY-MAYOR-CHICAGO-MY MOTHER/FATHER-JFK
AND THREATS TO MY FAMILY IF OBAMA IS KILLED

FRONT ROW ?????-LINCOLN MEMORIAL-PRESIDENT/FAMILY MEMBER



THE AMBER ROOM IS THE ONLY BOOK THAT I HAVE READ OF THIS AUTHOR. I HAVE NOT MENTIONED MR. DAN BROWN AND HIS WIFE, OR AGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM AND AT THE TIME PAULA AND MYSELF, OR LIBRARIES AND THOSE WHO RUN THEM, OR MR. ROLLIN'S REFERENCES TO AREAS AND CHARACTERS WHO ARE REAL, NO MATER WHAT NAME YOU GIVE THEM.


WHERE I AM CURRENTLY RESIDING, ' PENELOPE '-THEN ' DO RIGHT- DUDLEY'

THIS WAS SEVEN EIGHT YEARS AGO, I DID KNOW A DUDLEY, HE DIED AFTER A STOMACH OPERATION IN ORDER TO LOSE WEIGHT. HE ASKED FOR HELP FROM HIS FATHER FOR THE COST OF MEALS, BUT WAS DENIED. HE DIED OF A BROKEN HEART, HE GAVE UP, THEN HEART ATTACK.

TELEPHONE CALL FROM DUDLEY'S HOUSE WHEN I WAS TRING TO MOVE THE 26 FOOT SCULPTURE IN BARTON PRINCE'S FRONT YARD.


PENELOPE ' CM '- A BIT REDUNDANT NOW IN SCOPE OF MY DETERMINATION OF ' OUTCOMES ' OF  ' POLITICAL  CLIMENTS;' FUTURE. BUT THAT'S THE JOKE OF A HUMAN LIFE.

THE ' BATTLE ' WITHIN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, THUS OTHERS, NO MATTER THE VAST DAMAGES DONE CHILDREN THROUGH THIS AGE IN ACCORDANCE TO THE ONGOING BELIEF SYSTEM THAT ' MARKING ' A YOUNG CHILD OR BABY WITH SPERM OF THE FATHER OR ' OTHER ' MALE WILL ' PREDETERMINE ' A DESIRED BEHAVIORAL PATTERN THAT WILL IN TURN, BENEFIT ONLY A EXISTING ECONOMY AND ' SATISFACTION DUE ' ( ? ) HEAVEN'S ENVY.

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

AS PER THE PRECEDING POST AND THE ' HINT ' HERE, SUB-CULTURES AND ' CHAT ROOMS.'

IN THE END, WHERE I AM NOW, THOSE WHO ATTACK WILL BE SEEN AND THOUGHT OF IN THE FUTURE, OF DEFENDING PEDOPHILES AND IN SUPPORT OF WHAT THEY DO AND ' THEIR BELIEF SYSTEMS.'

SEVEN-EIGHT YEARS AGO----' YOU MORON ! ', ' WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO US?, ' A FEW YEARS FROM NOW THE DAMAGE RESULTING FROM NATIONAL DECISIONS AS PER FAMILY WILL START RISING DRAMATICALLY.

UPDATED 11-16-'13

JAMES ROLLINGS-A BOOK THAT I JUST FINISHED, CHAPTER 51 AND A MUCH BETTER DESCRIPTION OF A FORM OF ' MENTAL ANGUISH ' THAN I DESCRIBED OTHER THAN A MORE ACUTE DESCRIPTION WHEN AROUND VERY REAL PREDATORS, AND BACK ON 7400 FRANKLIN DR., WHERE WE ALL ' GREW UP.'

ALSO-

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A BUNCH OF ' BIMBOS ' WHO UPON HEARING OF A VET'S CHECK, GATHERED IN THE ' ETHER ' TO, WELL god DAMN IT, JUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

ONE BIMBO LEFT FOR A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT OR WORK, AND I GOT TO LOOK FOR CANS EARLIER!

ANOTHER COUPLE OF BIMBO'S WONDERED OF THAT POOR VET SLEEPING IN THE GRASS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FIELDS.

I ASKED THE VET " WHAT HAPPENED? " THE VET SAID " I DON'T KNOW?! " A FRIEND OF HIS CAME UP AND THE BIMBOS LEFT IN A CAR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FIELD AND BLEACHERS. THE FRIEND WAS VERY ANGRY ! " WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON THAT BIMBO! " I LEFT.

THEN ALL THE BIMBOS STARTED GOSSIPPING ABOUT THE POOR VET. NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. ARGUMENTS ENSUED ALL AROUND THE BIMBOS AND THE BIMBO'S LITTLE FRIEND. HA HA HA HEE HEE! THEY EXCLAIMED! " WHAT CONTROL WE HAVE! HA HA HEE!

THEN THEY TYRED TO BLAME THE AUTHOR OF THIS TAIL, UNTIL I THOUGHT " LIE."

I CALLED SOMEONE ELSE A " NIGGER," OTHER THAN HER ( BUT NOT REALLY ) THEN MORE OF THE TRUTH CAME TO BE SEEN; A ' HAGGLE ' OF BIMBO'S LIES BROUGHT DOWN TO TRUTH'S BARE.

AND THAT'S WHY JAMES ROLLIN'S A small FRIEND OF MINE. ALONG WITH ANOTHER AUTHOR.

YOU CAN WALK IN THE ' WAKE ' OF A BUNCH OF BIMBOS, BUT NOT IN THE FOOTPRINTS OF GOD. 

' RAILROADS ' UNDERGROUND OR NOT, ARE SOMETIMES MEANT TO HELP REAL PEOPLE, SOMETIMES WITH KIDS. BESIDES, ' BIMBO ' IS A BRAND NAME FOR A BREAD.

BREAD-MONEY.

BE CAREFUL GI'S, VETS. MY SISTER, IN MY HEAD WARNED ME OF DATING ANY WOMAN FROM THE STREETS. A THOUSAND DOLLARS IS VERY LITTLE TO LOSE WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK.

I MYSELF HAVE FLUSHED ABOUT TWO HUNDRED DOWN A TOILET WHILE TAKING A PISS, BEEN PASSED ' BAD ' MONEY, LOST HUNDREDS TO ' FRIENDS,' INCLUDING BAILING THEM OUT OF JAIL, YOU NAME IT.. BUT THAT WAS YEARS AGO. DECADES AGO.

THE ONLY WINNER IN ALL OF THIS WAS A LADY WHO SAID, " BART, I AM NOT A PART OF THIS." AND I GAVE HER EXAMPLES OF GIRLS AND WOMEN WHO I HAVE SEEN MADE DRUG ADDICTS AND WHORES UNDER THE ' PIMPS ' AND MALES OF THE STREETS.

I WAS MISUNDERSTOOD, BUT THATS ALRIGHT, IT'S MY ' LOT ' IN LIFE I GUESS ' TO TURN INTO A STONE OF SALT.'
TO LOOK BACK IS TO BE ' RESPONSIBLE ' TO YARN A TALE FOR YOUTH'S LESSONS.

PLEASE DON'T DRINK AND TAKE ILLEGAL DRUGS.

A VISIT TO THE PAST-THE OC- EL PASO, TEXAS

THIS POST WAS TAKEN OFF BY ME OR WAS ' HACKED ' IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER. I THINK DURING THE TIME AT CASA VIDA PRIOR TO OBAMA VISIT. ( ALWAYS BACK UP )

 

IMPORTANCE-WASHINGTON,DC-SHOOTER-NAVY YARD-12 DEAD

OC-BLACK MAN WITH BLUE VAN ON ONE SIDE, THE OTHER A HISPANIC MAN, WE ALL SLEPT ON PISS COTS. NIGHT I AWOKE TO A NEEDLE, I THOUGHT. I'VE BEEN BITTEN BY BED BUGS, NOT SAME THING.

HILO OR KONA, HAWAII-THE SPERM THING-WOMEN AND MEN HERE.

I KNOW THIS NOW. WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY, ' G-D ' INTERVENED. THAT'S WHAT TOILETS ARE FOR; THE POSSESSION NEVER REALLY TOOK. JEW, MASON OR JUST MIDDLE EASTERNER, DOES IT REALLY MATTER? NO.

YOUR ' CHOSEN ' spirit FLUSHED. THIS HAPPENED BEFORE ' MY MOTHER'S EYE.' BUT THE VOICE WAS ONE IN TEXAS; ALL, ONE ' BEING.'

IN ALBQ., JUST ' ECHOS OF MEN.' THOSE SUBSERVIENT TO THEM; LEGION WITHOUT DIRECTION.

 

A FISHERMAN THAT I MET, ' A COMET OVER ME, TO THE DISTANT VOLCANO.'-HILO, HI.

MASTER ' BAITER.'

 

THE GEOMETRY CONTINUES-I WOULD TELL JULIA ' CAT ' CATRON," TIME IS NOT LINEAR."

I DID NOT KNOW OF  WHAT CAN ONLY BE ' DESCRIBED ' AS VOLUME OF THE CONCEPT, YEP, JUST CONCEPT.

I ASKED FOR A FALLING STAR THE OTHER NIGHT.....

7-10 MINUTES, TO THE ' MOUNTAIN ' IN KONA, HI.

IN THE FOR WHAT'S WORTH DEPARTMENT, I HAVE NO INTEREST IN MAKING THE WHOLE WORLD 'QUEER,' I HATE THEM.

I AM AGAINST CHILD RAPE, IF FOR NO OTHER REASON INCLUDING MY OWN CHURCH, THE HOLY ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH, I OPPOSE THE IDEA IF ONLY FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS WORLD, HOW CAN YOU HAVE BABY FUCKERS IN A CHURCH AND WANT ' PEACE ' FOR AND AROUND THE WORLD. WHO'S WORLD, WHO'S PEACE; THE BABYFUCKERS, THE QUEERS ?

I ALSO DO NOT BELIEVE IT SHOULD BE THE ONLY REASON FOR ANY WAR.

EGO FORBID, IN THIS I AM RIGHT; YOU WERE ONLY WARNING ' LEGION ' IN SCRIPTURE IN THE EVENT THAT THEY MIGHT ONE DAY ' SEE THE LIGHT OF THE WORD.' AND THIS IS FOR ALL TEMPLES AND MOSQUES AND CHURCHES.

 

 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

10-12 PAGE HITS-I WILL LIST ' MOST ' THAT I REMEMBER

IF YOU CLICK ON RANDOM GOOGLE HITS - THE POST BEFORE THIS, YOU WILL SEE WHAT MESSED ME WITH MY MIND YEARS AGO. THE FUTURE.

Six arranged -three axle-powered ( PROTECT YOUR SIX ) -MOVIE SHOWN AT THE OPPORTUNITY CENTER IN EL PASO, TX. ON 7-21-12. NAME OF MOVIE---HAYWIRE---ALSO NAME OF TEXTING SERVICE THAT I USED BRIEFLY.

BURNT OFFERINGS-ATTACK'S STARTING ABOUT NINE TO EIGHT YEARS AGO-AS EXPLAINED TO ME , MASTURBATION, ALSO WHEN YOU MAKE LOVE TO A WOMAN A FEW YEARS OLDER THAN YOU.

YOU ARE NOT MY G-D. I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH PROOF!
YOU ARE NOT MY G-D!
DON'T YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?! LOOK IN ( ?????) AND FIND OUT WHO YOU REALLY ARE!
I have learned to block most by now, and I simply let most go threw one year out the other. This, I'm afraid, is also about eight years ago.

RESCUE BOAT COAST GUARD, QUESTIONING. SEEMED WITHIN US. DIFFERENT LEVELS OF AWARENESS, MY GUT-TERRORISTS CELL BACK THEN AND EVEN MORE SO NOW, AS OF DATE.

CLEVELAND-LIBRARY HIT, EL PASO-OC HIT. BASEBALL " That man was in your house again. " " Those men were in your house again." YOUNG LADY IN MY OLD NEIGHBORHOOD WARNING ME OF OLD LANDLORD AND HIS FRIENDS-ALSO COLORADO.

PHILIP-GUINEA PIG'S-MARCUS-SEDGWICK-THE ' MARCO ' ONE HIT HARD YEARS AGO 'CAUSE HE HAD LAYED A CIRCLE OF ROCKS< EACH REPRESENTING A FRIEND/THEIR DEATH. THE ' PIG ' I WILL PROBABLY EXPLAIN TOMORROW, THO PERSONAL---- ( " LOOK AT YOUR HAND " I DID. MY SPERM WAS GLOWING, SOME OTHER AREAS OF THE HOUSE TOO. IMPORTANT BECAUSE A DAY OR TWO, POLICE OFFICER WALKING AROUND IN CIRCLES ON SAN MATEO LOOKING FOR SOMETHING, IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC. PIDGIN THAT SLAMMED INTO WINDOW.------ THAT YEAR TOO, GEESE HIGH ABOVE CIRCLING HOUSE ON ALICE.-----OUR TECHNOLOGY BEING MISUSED IN TERRORIST EVENTS AND THE REST, TO CLOSE-MOVIE-' HAYLO EFFECT.'

TOO MANY HITS WITH NAVY. I'VE ALL MOST NO RESPECT FOR THEM AS WITH THE ARMY.

I don't know if this is the same police officer in Austin,Tx. and

associated with ' The Slabs,' but this is one of the many 'numbers

that have been 'staking' me along with the druggies for whatever

reasons.



A man in Albq, NM. collects wire that seem to be of random

shapes. If you enlarge this image it might show. The pennies

have been going on for years. Another piece of wire was found

by my bike, didn't take photo. That man is no friend of mine.

LYRICS-PUZZLE-TIME SIGNATURE,---- TIME SIGNATURE WAS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT-RANDOM ACCESS TO TIME/BRAIN AREA-----ALL I'LL SAY.

I HAVE WRITTEN THIS DOWN, THO SOME OF IT PERSONAL, BECAUSE WE ARE UNDER ATTACK FROM WITHIN THIS COUNTRY.----I NOW< NO LONGER THINK ' REACTIONS ' THEN SUDDEN SILENCE AFTER SUCH EVENTS AS THE RECENT KILLINGS IN COLORADO ARE JUST COINCIDENCE, AND ALTHOUGH MY OPINION WILL BE REGARDED AS RACIST, THAT'S ALRIGHT. IGNORANCE FROM ALL DIRECTIONS IS AND WILL CONTINUE TO ' FUEL 'THESE ATTACKS,----THEY WILL GROW WORSE BECAUSE THEY ARE BEING INTELLIGENTLY CONSTRUCTED----AT WILL----WITH INTENT TO KILL.

THESE PHOTO'S I THREW IN JUST BECAUSE. OTHERS THAT WERE LOST: PICTURE THE DAY OF THE FIRE IN JUAREZ, WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE A PRINTING COMPANY. PICTURES OF THE TRANSIT OF VENUS, MOST OF THEM. A FEW OTHERS. THE MASON SHIT HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE DAY ONE, EVEN BEFORE THE BOOK RULES AND DOGMA.----I HAVE A FEELING THAT THIS ALL WILL END IN BLACK AND WHITE, SO TO SPEAK. I'VE NO INTEREST. I WILL SPEAK MORE OF THE LODGE AND MY TOUR LATER. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.

10-? PAGE HIT ( 6-8 years ago ) WHAT FED THE MONSTER

Random Google ' Hit.'

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GLOBAL STALKING

' LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT '


WHO'S INTIMIDATING WHO? I GO TO THE BEACH TO RELAX, FIND SEA GLASS AND SHELLS. I DO NOTHING ELSE. YES I SHOWER AFTER I WANDER AROUND THE BEACH IN THE WATER. I HAVEN'T CAUGHT ANYTHING AT THE BEACH AND I AM LOOKING FOR NO ONE.

AS FOR THE LIBRARY, YES I AM HOMELESS. I HAVE SEEN MUCH MORE THAN I WROTE ABOUT, BUT TO STAND IN FRONT OF A JURY, THIS METHOD WAS BEST.


I DO NOTHING ILLEGAL.



A bathroom next to the Hilo Bay that has a shower outside. The
great number of people who have cell phones in the area my have
always played a game of ' tag ' with the public. When I visited the
facilities there, before going to the beach, it was just somewhat
dirty, as usual. When I returned about three and a half hours later
it was in this condition. The Gay reference and ' Peanut ' likeness
might be a reference to one of my sisters. This picture was taken
yesterday. The beaches in Hawaii are public, a very strong element
in Hawaii wants them ' closed ' for Ileagal Drug use and promotion,
not to mention ' sex.'

I also found a yellow-green tennis ball outside of the shower area
in the grass. Much like the golf ball at Casa Vedia in El Paso and
Tennis ball at the Rescue Mission in El Paso, which in turn related
to the softball in Stassy Creek in Austin, Tx., of
the same color, when I heard in my
mind " You'd better play ball. " This occurred when I took pictures
of the creek during a rain storm and discovered that that was the
location of my OBE,or near death when I was a baby/child. Alot
was deleted in El Paso, Texas just prior to President Obama's visit
in El Paso, Texas last year.

These ' people ' support ' fucking ' everything including babies, that's
who they are.

                                                                                                                                    

THE LETTER WAS MAILED LAST WEEK

                             10-18-‘13

To The Honorable Neil Abercrombie

Governor, State of Hawaii

Executive Chambers

State Capital, Honolulu, HI 96813

Dear Sir,

The safety and wellbeing of today’s youth should be of paramount concern for all parents and ‘ adults.’ The responsibility will always fall on the adults of the child’s family, however, if the child visit’s any Public Library for study purposes he/she is then under the safety net , if you will, of the ‘ adult’s,’ all be it that they may not be the children’s parents, likewise an accounting in the Public Library might fall under the age category of ‘ adult ‘ also. Meaning, non-responsive to the norms of societal standards; morals.

The children’s actions and the actions of other children and those who are not ‘ legally ‘ children, may include behaviors, horsing around, taunting others, kissing, ‘ making out,’ opposite gender, but mostly same gender, photos ( cell phones ) of other patrons and their cell phones, computer screens, bathrooms, etc. Staking the homeless and adults who may or may not fall into an age category within two years of age of the stalker ( sometimes the other way around, depending on ‘ mindset.’ ) and his/her intent ( drugs/sex ? ).

Other actions have been what appear to have been the passing of illegal drugs for retail and also immediate use. The ‘ seemingly ‘ saber rattling of same gender ‘ frolicking ‘ has an uglier side to it, and perhaps this is why the proposed use of cameras has been defeated so many times in Government Legislations. Misdirection from Libraries ( prixynet courpus- under save-authors, an example today; patron’s ? ) on up.

Yesterday, this an example, I used the restroom in the kid’s reading area because the building was closing. I used the enclosed toiletry to urinate, upon completion I stepped out to wash my hands and while waiting for a tall man finish ‘ washing, rinsing ? ‘ his hair only to seemingly completely ‘ swallow ‘ the water faucet, take several swallows then act out ‘ what ? ‘ facing the ceiling, then wait for me in almost a panic as I washed my hands, then leave and sit with the remaining child, opposite end of the table ‘ reading ‘ a book. I left the building shaking my head.

I have brought my concerns to the Library’s Head. In a sense I left the office that the Bureaucracy has left her ‘ hands tied.’

Who’s side is the Government of Hawaii on? The side of illegal Drug Dealers and their ‘ Fancies ‘ or the protection and ‘ correct ‘ use of Public Facilities such as Public Libraries.

Perhaps you might find ‘ adults ‘ who have long facilitated these public domains with ‘ behaviors ‘ for ‘ their ‘ own behavioral effect and personal, if not illegal business profits.

 CAMERAS ARE NEEDED FOR THE PROTECTION OF CHILDREN AND FROM THEMSELVES AND OTHERS.

                                                                                                                                                       Thank you,

                                                                                                                            Jesus Bartholomew Ochoa III

AND JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT, I REALLY SHOULD OF LISTENED TO THE YOUNG RETIRED VET, SECURITY OFFICER AT KROGER'S IN ALBQ., NM BACK THEN. HE LET ME KNOW OF COAST TO COAST AM, VISIT TO THE GREATER ALBQ. AREA AND HE WAS STATIONED WITH/AT THE NSA. HE TRIED TO KEEP ME IN TOWN FOR THE SHOW.

BUT THAT WAS ' CONNECTED ' TO THE PEDOPHILE WHO USED THE ' HIGHER LANGUAGE ', PHEROMONES AND RIGHTS OF CHILDREN TO CHOSE TO HAVE SEX WITH ADULTS AND WHOEVER AND WHATEVER, WHEN THEY ARE ' REAL ' CHILDREN. THAT DAY I THREW THE BIBLE ACROSS THE ROOM TO ' BREAK THE MOMENT.' IT WASN'T A CATHOLIC PRIEST, I KNOW WHO IT WAS AND RECOGNIZED A VAST ' NETWORK ' BEHIND HIM/IT.

THAT DAY THE LEFT SIDE OF MY BIBLE TURNED TO A ' FUZZY ' HEBREW OR ARABIC SCRIPT, WHATEVER HAPPENED ' MY ' REACTION BROKE THE ' SPELL.' I WILL NOT ATTACK MAINSTREAM RELIGIONS.

DIDN'NT WANT TO GIVE ' IT ' A SOAP BOX.

WHAT ' YOU ' ARE UP AGAINST

Hilo, HI. Bus Terminal Area

( this is what I wrote down that night )

2 undercover cops ( firemen? ) male and female/ put Navy 75 dark blue shirts on-the old man? Supporter of pedophiles?

THE USE OF MY FATHER AS ' MASK '

THE TWO PEOPLE LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME, THEY DID NOT KNOW I SAW THEM PUT THE SHIRTS ON YARDS AWAY BEHIND THE CROWD

SUNDAY-KARY-MEMORI/THEN CROSSED OUT:MEMORY, REOCCURRING EVENT-" BUT NOT FOR YOU."

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WHAT HAPPENED LATER THAT NIGHT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT KNOWS AND NEIGHBORS-I JUST TURNED AROUND AND WENT TO SLEEP-RESPONSE TIME WHEN I WAS AWAKENED-UNDER 5 MINUTES, I didn't have a phone to call it in anyway. NO SMOKE-NO FLAMES.

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Hawaii has it's own problems, from drugs, ' feeling of no way off Island,' paychecks well below minimum pay, distribution of computer info amongst the ' baby boomers ' and some of their offspring in order to maintain ' control,' missing children, deep religious differences ( Jewish, Arab, Hawaiian, Aryan brotherhood ( competitors of Asian Ice market ) etc ) and inadequate Police Force to deal with missing persons and all other problems revolving around the main stay of ' today's ' main recreation other than alcohol consumption, the use of illegal drugs. Impact on the lower and middle classes----no hope. READ A NEWSPAPER.

As for the use of my family/my own recollection of my family and ' prompts,'  ( nice shirts guys, he would be about that age now ), there will always be a ' real ' purpose to support the action ( s ), this may be Federal, though I believe just a form of the underground.

Phil's friend long ago was named ' Kary.' A fictitious name. His ( Phil, back then in Albq., NM. ) enemies were the con artists trying to get ahold of his brother's estate years ago. It went all the way up to the State level ( the corruption, newspapers and all, and yes all Democrats ) Phil's brother was a defense attorney who died under ' questionable ' circumstances in New Mexico.

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I have tryed to stop the things that I have seen. It's damn near imposable, but you can write.

The person who stole my phone was video taped by City Cameras, after my response to what I saw in ' Kary.' The rest is history.

YOU BOOTED ME OUT OF ' SERVICE ' FOR THE NATION, I FOUGHT TO STAY IN, YOU THOUGHT DIFFERENTLY; I EVEN FORGOT ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON'S SUICIDE OR ATTEMPTED MURDER WITH MY MEETING WITH THE CAPT. PTS. I know this now, I think I handle it alright.

AS FAR AS MY I-POD GOES-IT'S NOT ' CROSSED WIRES ' 8 YEARS AGO, IT'S INTENTIONAL-YES-RADIO IS TURNED OFF.

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I HAVE USE FOR A PHONE-INTERNET CAPABILITIES-VERY LITTLE ' TRACKING.' something that is totally off when turned off.

A LAPTOP ( APPLE ) both brand new. The other ' wish list ' I'll write about later.

THIS IS ALL YOU GET.

YOUR ' PRESENCE ' NOW IS TO MUCH FOR THE ' RECURRENCE ' OF EVENTS REMEMBERED NOW-I AM SORRY YOU ARE SO BLIND-BUT AT LEAST YOU ARE STARTING TO LISTEN-DON'T BE FOOLS, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE.

History as we know it, has the ' value ' of correct accounting of time to change all understandings of ' worth,' as we know it, beyond every one's comprehension.

AND LAST

ARE YOU THAT FUCKING IMMATURE TO BELIEVE IN ' CIVIL WAR ' IN HAWAII ???

8-9 YEARS AGO- " I SORRY." THEN REPEATED, ABOUT FIVE YEARS AGO. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS LISTENING TO IN MEDITATION.

WHITE MAN COMES UP " GOT POT MAN ? " " GOT ICE? "

YOU ANSWER, " NO WAY, WE GOT A RICH CULTURAL HERITAGE."

WHATS LEFT OF IT AFTER YEARS OF SELLING SHIT, MANY DON'T EVEN KNOW IT 'CAUSE THEY DON'T LISTEN TO THEIR ELDERS WHO WANTED TO TEACH IT.

YOUR FUCKING DRUGED UP ' PEACE MOVEMENT ' HAS TURNED INTO A FEMALE DATING GAME THAT AMOUNTS TO NOTHING IN THE END TO PROTECT BECAUSE THEY ALL ARE ' HA PA.'

BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THIS POST, I'M NOT NAIVE, BUT I AM ON THE STREETS AND I AM NOT SOME FOOL WAVING A FLAG WITH AN EXTENSIVE RAP SHEET FILLED WITH  FELONIES.  

THE MIDDLE EAST AS ' ENTITLEMENT '

IF YOU SEE IT OUR WAY-PEACE

PEACE MONTH IS COMING TO HILO, HI.

I REMEMBER QUESTIONING ALWAYS BEFORE COLLAGE AND DURING, " WHO'S PEACE? "

I AM SURE THERE WILL BE QUEER FLAGS ( RAINBOW ) SUPPORTING THE THEFT OF RIGHTS FROM CHILDREN'S PARENTS AND ' RAPE ' ( OF BRAIN, ' MIND ' AND BODY ) IN GENERAL IN THE FURTHER DESTRUCTION OF THE REAL ' CHRIST'S CHURCH.' DEMOCRATS ARE VERY GOOD AT THIS; NEVERMIND THE FAMILIES AND SCHOOLS AND ' jesus christ, the reprsentations of the churches and now chatolics, BOWING DOWN ( PARDON THE CROCH LEVEL PUN ), EYE TO EYE, SO TO SPEAK, TO ' THE MASSES,' THE ALL BELIEVING ' ONE G-D.'

DISPITE THE MOTHER CHURCHES PROBLEMS, I NEVER WOULD OF THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD ' SUBMIT ' TO LUCIFER OVER THE REAL, THOU ' HIDDEN,' CHRIST.

AND NO MR.BARTON PRINCE, JESUS CHRIST WAS NOT A ' FAG.' A HOMOSEXUAL; THIS FOR ALL YOUR ' FOLLOWERS.' MOST PARTICULARLY IN SANTE FE, NEW MEXICO, YOUR NEW BUNCH.-HOW MANY ON ' ONE PHONE LINE-THE ' NET ? '

THE BEGINNING OF THE ATTACKS, AFTER NINE ELEVEN, I REMEMBER " CROSSING THE BARRIER, THE WALL IF YOU WILL, IN ALMOST COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING, AN EPIPHANY, " KNOW ONE EVER THOUGHT THAT THE DEMOCRATS WOULD TURN OUT TO BE THE NAZIS." I HARDLY TOLD A SOUL. I KEPT IT TO MYSELF.


" DID YOU ' LEND ' YOUR GREED TO YOUR CHILDREN'S TO DEFEND A FAITH BORN OF LANDS ONLY TO BE BURNT, ONLY AS ' FOLLOWERS.'

" THE ENTIRE MIDDLE EAST DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THERE; WHERE THE ' EMPEROR ' TOOK THE ' ROBE,' AND WIFE, MADE THE WHORE. "

J.BARTHOLOMEW OCHOA III, my own writings. From ' Sleepers.' 2013.








GIVEN OF THE SEA-10-10-'13
THE PAINTINGS GIVEN TO RETIRED REP. OF THE STATE OF
TEXAS FOR EL PASO, ONE OF WHICH HAS A SEVEN ON MY
FOREHEAD, PAINT THAT AFTER YEARS OF WORK AND
STORAGE, CRACKED AND FELL OF LEAVING  THE SHAPE OF
THE NUMBER SEVEN. I AM ALSO THE ELDEST OF FIVE AND
TWO HALF SISTERS LATER. SEVEN.
THE PICTURE IS NOT VERY GOOD, WILL TRY AGAIN.
THE ROCK IS LAVA; THE OTHER SIDE IS ' U.'

OLD PHOTO, AUSTIN, TX. VERY CLOSE TO THE CAPITAL.
A WOMAN DRIVING A RED SUV, FOR WHAT EVER REASON
GAVE ME THE ' FINGER ' JUST BEFORE I TOOK THIS SHOT.
' I REMEMBER,' YOU ARE IN A GEOMETRIC PROGRESSION
THAT IS MAINLY ' MAN MADE.' MY FRIEND ' CAT ' HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
IT IS ' TRIAD.' TERRORISM.
YOU HAVE ' EMPOWERED THE BEAST,' NOW THAT IT HAS
TASTED POWER, PARDON THE PUN, IT WILL NEVER STOP
WANTING....AT ALL COST. GLOBALLY.

A SEED OR FRUIT FROM THE TREE WHICH I TOOK PICTURES
OF ALONG WITH MY ANKLE.' VERY SMALL HANDS PICKED
THIS UP,' AS A BABY. I HONESTLY DO NOT KNOW IF THE MEMORY
IS MINE, YET. I AM STILL ' MUNCHING OVER ' ALL POSSIBLE
EXPLANATIONS.

END

I am bringing this blog to an end. I do not like children draping themselves upon each other in the company of adults at the ' bequest of what only amounts to be technology, and not of the mind. A complete misuse of what should be used to help them, when the ' veil ' is lifted and they learn that it is perverts that they are imitating. I do not support the gay movement, now understood by the ' wise ' as Pedophilia. Exampled by today's young victims.

I will leave a few posts up for awhile.

I debated the idea of just highlighting what I thought to be important.

The comment about ' snuff film ' is something that was already posted at one point, and have already gone through while engaged in conversation with a person in Scottsdale, Az. We were talking at a storage facility, topic's primarily his prior occupations and people that he had ' met ' and or ' worked ' for.

Major Ed Danes once said, " You don't want a pedophile in your head." Late night radio, Coast to Coast,AM. Art Bell was the host, I forgot the date.

A great deal of what is' in ' today for youth, is also the path to untold horrors beyond comprehension cultivating in what I ' saw ' through that person in Arizona. I believed it to be an ' imprint ' of some kind left by a person that he once knew to some extent. That original post is probably already gone. I do know that it isn't related to a story in Austin's papers about gang members, a young man and woman who almost did the same. ' This ' baby was executed after the ' act ( s ).

Hollywood does not ' compare,' as far as I know, this is beyond comprehension.

In this country for profit (!?!? ). You don't want this in your head, it took me a long time to get rid of it in mine.


This is the anger that I have for the older promoters of the ongoing ' sexual revolution.' It has now exceeded sex and or love and entered in the realms of that which there is almost no escape or rebound if ' entered.' Remember, Adults started this.


FAMILY-one concurrent line of generalized events

The mockery and insults of and relating/regarding my family has subsided somewhat, in Austin there were even look ' alikes,' my father, brother and one sister.

they seemed to be based on my pictures-key-my brother- look alikes were of a ' younger ' version of him. I stayed with him, not quite the same.

I know that in Albq.,NM, that someone ether video taped or took pictures of everything in the house.

G-d forbid that Mr. Lent is right about satellite technology.

I know for a fact that it is real in ' real time,' " Why are you going to read that book?" " What are you going to do with the tape?" " Why are you taking that to your room?", all questioning my actions at the time. Phillips TV,Disk, Phillips radio as examples.

' Mental footprints,' are what I found when I returned from T.J. Tucker's house.

If I am right it explains alot about El Paso, Austin and Scottsdale, Az. Everything that I owned including family photos ended up on the Internet at one time or another.

In the second round of attacks, what started it all almost from the beginning, was a persons head, real, who looked very much like ( 95 % ) my father. It was on a lavatory metal pan.

After the shock ( ' silence ' ), I could hear the threats.

Years before, while living on Charleston St. in Albq.,NM, I worked for ( along with another Air Traffic Controller,  Apt. maintenance ) County Floral co., The Price Club., a vendor, an employee once worked there, maybe still does, his head looked just like my father. He was a short man. A Vietnam Vet. I didn't know him, just helped unload the truck of flowers. I was fired for no reason the next time I showed up for work. Shitty part time job.

If that was him, what can I say. I never saw him again after that day, I showed him a picture of my father, there was almost no ' response.' He just looked off in the distance. What are the chances?


The international shit started before this, and the Cop shit, before 9-11. 

All the ' white hands ' that popped up after holding the world.
An old photo, when I thought my brother was in the hospital, it
was my father instead.

First art piece in Hawaii contained one rib. Along with the other
idems given of the sea, I built the ' piece.'
My ' feeling ' as to how my words and sight was being utilized
by other's, almost to the point of overlaped ' meaning and implyed
importance,' and misinformation to what I am all about was tought
about yesterday. The evil in this world and ' all keys to all gates ' to
Pandora given to what otherwise might of been children, inoscence
by the evil of adults, found a moment's rest in my mind.

A wave as if in answer to an inner question was given me.
Another rib given of ' her.' The ocean.

Just before the lose of my phone, CNN>COM. ' Hit.' Karry and
something else. This was already written on this blog, but to much
interferance, earlier. I almost slamed it down in front of bus terminal bench
Only CNN and Google know facts. My number was 218-260-8443. I
was going to keep it..

HOPE-A CHEST ON A WINDOW STILL EIGHT YEARS AGO

HOPE SERVICES

I am printing this for every good reasons, one they are helping me, phone ( mine stolen ), maybe shelter in Kona, straighten out ' discrimination ( ? ) with food stamps, and other issues, banking, Aids test ( really thought that I was poked with a needle while staying at The Opportunity Center in El Paso ( I WOKE UP SUDDENLY TO A PUNCTURE WOUND ) that night under ' Marvin's ' watch, it didn't take. Will check again in three more months, but its been six to seven since the event. This is how you lose track of time if you have a conscience, in the back of you're mind. I can also state, that this is also taken ' advantage ' of, the information that is, on the streets. Information is money.

Hope is also an organisation in Hawaii that as far as I know so far, does try to help the homeless in Hawaii, no matter what race you are, including ' whites.' According to police, although not officially endorsed by any means, " they only have three staff members here in Hilo, HI. and three in Kona, HI. Towns are opposite each other.

I would suggest also that parents of missing teenagers contact them also along with the Police Department to cut a small amount of bureaucracy and good luck.

The suicide rate in Hawaii is very high. You can ' almost hear ' the enticements all night long. On the street level it is all about ' Drug Revolution,' and EVERYTHING YOU OWN. When you cut to the chase. Eight years ago when my friends came down from Hawaii, the visit very short, " They already Got to him," Marie said to Phill as I walked out my back door. They said goodbye again and abruptly left. After this, about a year, in my sleep I heard " it's kind of like Rosey during the war.That's what it's like/it's all over the place here." Of course, this of Tokyo Rose during the second world war.

Prior to the first election, alot of what I can print here without a parental warning, ' most ' has been printed ( IN THIS AND OTHER BLOGS ), the chest on the window ledge was part of a ' dream sequence,' the beginning, during the ' attacks,' all of which I underwent. The chest was on a window sill, the drapes were open, the window it's self was open.

The day of the theft of the cell phone ( criminals that hang out at the city bus terminal. It is the only electrical outlet for charging cell phones ), a ' hit ' with CNN. Two right off the bat, connecting with '  The Footprints of G-D,' that day was the first day that I just turned the damned thing off!..... The book I had never finished. All I can say for now is what a ' Mind Rush.' The book has nothing really in common with what I have been through yet, thou, the abstracts that can be subjected to any given reality is really kinda ' frightening.' It has been a blessing to listen to every else's ' alter egos,' for a change, by way of their own phones, not through mine byway of their own ' spy ware.'

IN 2009, IN HAWAII        

135 MALES DEAD, 36 FEMALES DEAD, ALL SUICIDES Hawaii State Data Book-2012

I DON'T HAVE THE NUMBERS FOR OUR MILITARY IN HAWAII-BUT i DO KNOW THAT THE CITIES AND TOWN DO NOT CARE.

WHAT I HAVE EXPERIENCED HERE ( AND FELT ) IS A VERY QUITE FEMINIST/LESBIAN AND ORGANIZED CRIME ELEMENT THAT IS IN FULL OR WANTS THE ' APPEARANCE ' OF FULL COMMAND OF ALL THINGS ' CIVILIAN,' IF NOT MILITARILY IN TOTALITY.

I WOULD CALL THESE PEOPLE ' CURRENCY BROKERS,' LIFE BROKERS.

THEY ARE MARRIED BUT NOT ALWAYS TO EX-MILITARY, FOR ' CONVENIENCE.'  IT IS A HERD MENTALITY THAT SEEMS TO OPERATE OFF OF A SINGLE WORD THAT MIGHT BE UTILIZED FROM A SINGLE 'WORD.' ENCOMPASSED WITH HOTPOTS AND/OR TROJANS THAT PRETTY MUCH DO THE SAME, IT CAN DRIVE YOU MAD IF YOU LET IT.

THE POWER OF WORD AND SYMBOLS IN THE PROGRAMMER'S LANGUAGES AND ' VOICE RECOGNITION,' FROM ALL CELL PHONES IS BEING MISUSED, AND UPDATED PLATFORMS WHICH WOULD ENABLE THOSE WHO ARE PAID TO PROTECT US, TO DO SO.

WHEN YOU TURN YOUR CELLPHONE ON AND HALF A DOZEN ALL TURN ON AND OR RING AND VIBRATE, AND SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE THE HOMELESS CARE PROVIDERS...THAT ' SMELLS VERY MUCH LIKE ' THE UNDERGROUND.'

It is the people ( Power Brokers ) who empower the youth ( young adults ) to greed; to undermine the defense of this nation for the enemy.

A utilization of ' The Herd Mentality ' or ' One Hundred Monkey Effect,' for profit only.

I think the organization below is a good one, so far.And do not fully trust any American Library.


HOPE SERVICES
808-935-3050
115 Kapiolani St.
PO Box 741
Hilo, HI 96721



The cell phone that was stolen, the cell phone which replaced the LG
that I had problems with and a bunch of cops seemed to have intrest
in, in El Paso, Tx. 

SLEEPERS IN THE UNITED STATES

SLEEPERS

Years ago, " We need people in the homosexual scene to help identify terrorists," this is almost verbatim as to what I ' heard ' in my head.

" No." was my answer. I have never been ' forgiven ' because I was ' anointed ' ( argument used on me on one level ). I never had choice. Fuck you.

You got what you wanted, land, power and me on the streets, and ' your ' war.

All of you are cowards not to ' stand ' from government and churches down against ' Legion,' or even your own beliefs. What does an animal do but beg for more.

TICKET 8-CHINESE LUCKY NUMBER-OTHERWISE, EIGHT YEARS AGO

Today at Human Services after countless visits and different case workers, I finally gave up trying to get food stamps transferred to Hawaii. " I give up I said."

Hispanic or Black, Hawaiian or Gay, it does not matter; underground or bureaucracy, there really is no difference.

STANDDOWN

" I don't know what you are talking about." Army personal. " Go ask The Salvation Army." Your sleepers are your own.

THE REAL WAR

IF YOU ARE ' WHITE,' MEANING SKIN COLOR, DO NOT COME TO HAWAII. If anything should happen, money trouble, divorce, lost ID or ' misinformation,' you will find a form of discrimination that you are unprepared for. If you are even half Hawaiian, the same. You are nothing. If you are over forty ( any other city as well with large minority groups ) you are taking your life in your own hands. You must be prepared to kill, if necessary to defend yourself. The government's version of ' Jesus ' will not help you.

The ' massages sent in the State office, were clear, a security officer twirling a stuffed rat behind a cubical looking directly at me, this to any number of other small idiosyncrasies.

I's not worth being the ' inside ' joke. Your sleepers are your own.

AIDS

Today I took an AID'S test again and was negative. If you are homeless, most particularly, this must be done. Hepatitis too. The militant side of the Gay culture uses this disease, as well as ex-cons and other misfits to ' Hit,' or kill those who oppose them; simply to get even. This is well known and not urban myth; people are afraid to talk. Needles, cuts, bites, fingernail scrapes and any other methods are implied and have been ' voiced.' Of their experience, why find out. Stay away from them if you can, if possible.


I shook hands with a person who had his hand in his pants, groin, I was'nt really paying attention at the time, when I was showing him the engine of my 4-Runner. " Mano to Mano, brother to brother," he said.

You have to pay attention. What is being done to your kids, one can only imagine. I didn't have any cuts, luckily and washed my hands with sanitizer twice. I don't know if he is Straight, Bi or Homosexual. He did have a Biohazard tattoo though. I told him what it stood for in the Gay comunity. I learned this when I researched Child Abuse. ( spell check just went out again, imagine that. Again. )

I've heard no word from him regarding personal property ect.

Your sleepers are your own.

8 YEARS AGO-RV

Survivor-three times

Occupy-Once

This brought back the ' sight,' memory of the ' machette,' I actually bought one. I think I got rid of it in Austin, Tx.

The kid that I was working with that day, I don't think is a threat, but he sure had a strong resemblance to the person that bought my 4-Runner. If seen, I doubt anyone could denie it.

SHELTERS, JEWS, ARABS AND THE PEDOPHILE ' CHURCHES ' AND ALL THAT LIE IN BETWEEN

I will never accept your version of Jesus Christ. I will never surender my spirit or soul or body to you. You have never kept your hands off children. Fuck You.

I have a picture ( might post it ) of toilet paper that I threw in the bowl because it had blood on it ( not mine ). This is common ( two shelters, my experience ), and ' dots that move,' bugs.

The voluenteers roll them in pads to extend the life of the roll. I have always asked for two because of this reason.

The Reascue Mission is one, but the problem is addressed often.

The Opportunity Center is another and the bug issue was laughed at; the voluenteers are also homeless most of the time and do get paid in cash, I suppose to ' extend ' the value of the grant monies and donations. All shelters are this way. The two that I spoke of are in El Paso, Texas. Austin's Lake Side Family YMCA would be a good example of the Opportunity Center when I was there: the bath and shower areas, male.

The people who are ' cared ' for at all shelters are those who society have never ' forgiven,' although the crimes and sentences have been paid. New Criminals are picked up there also and ' mostly ' for good reasons; murder.

STREET- " HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN RECIEVING FOODSTAMPS/SSI/WARD OF THE STATE? " AT THE TIME OVERLAPPED WITH  "WARD "-THAT WAS AT NIGHT

The ' sight ' was mine, now everybodys hearts are mended, how well do you see now?   " Rochelle," ( step son's female friend, who I housed briefly ) but this time has already happened. She got a ride on the back of ' Roger's ' Harley, or if still owened by SHALOM, his boss, friend to ' Steve,' owener of a coffee plantation, for lack of better expression ( also the guy who pointed at my croch, then eye and mentioned Michial Jackson and Farah Fawcet-part of the attacks about six years ago, which overlapped the year before ), he might of said Kona. Greek beard, blue eyes and short light brown hair. Thanks for pulling my pony tail. Now you know the type of people who run Hawaii.

STEVE I WAS LOOKING FOR A MISSING CHILD NICK NAMED ' BLUE.'-F---  YOU. What did your ' group ' think it was doing? In a month or two I'm going to decribe all the sexual perversion that was ' forced into my mind.' NOT OUR MIND!

And you are right, there are more....sleepers, I mean, but the thought occures, what ' encounter promotes ' such deviant behavioue? And for what purpose?

THE SLEEPERS ARE YOUR OWN.

For the Army and Navy Fucks, and those who ' lead ' them, I would keep an accounting of all peoples and or groups on the Islands that even hint of ' swinging.'

GOSH, WHAT COULD THE ' INCENTIVE ' BE...? Maybe they might keep a better look on thier radar screens at the very least. " Who put that ' thier.' Date.

FOR WHAT ITS WORTH, EVERYONE LIED...THIS HAS'NT HAPPENED YET. I HAVE SEEN ENOUGH TO KNOW THE VALUE OF MY LIFE IN THE ' EYES ' OF YOU.

For the value of whom? It certainly was not for my family or myself, or the ' Sleepers.' Goodbye for now.

BARACADING ' THE TERRORIST CELLS '- " FOREIGIN AND DOMESTIC "

9-24-'13

ALTHOUGH I DO NOT LIKE ADVERTISING FOR

GROUPS, I WILL SAY THIS MUCH FOR THE SMALL

BUSINESS ' UNDER HIS WING'S ' WHICH PROVIDES

DRINKS AND SNACK'S, HOPE OUT REACH,AND OTHER

SERVICES FOR THE HOMELESS OF HAWAII ( HILO ), THE

COMPANY WHO DONATED THE ' SEA SALTED POTATO

CHIPS,' THANK YOU.' DIRTY PHOTATO CHIPS.' I THINK
 OF THE CLOUDS, SNOWFLAKES

AND OTHER SMALL MIRACLES THAT I HAVE WITNESSED.

AND NOW A POTATO CHIP ( UNDER ' NAVIGATOR ' ).

 

THE ARTICLE BELOW:

 I HAVEN'T COMPLETELY ADJUSTED MY ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND FULLY; A COMPREHENSION IN TOTALITY.

I HAVE ALWAYS AWOKEN AT 3:00 AM FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER. SOBER OR DRUNK, SOMETIMES NOT KNOWING WHERE I WAS. SOMETIMES ' AROUSED,' BUT NOT KNOWING WHY. MAINLY ' QUIT OF MIND-' NO ONE.'

I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS BORN AT 3:00. IT WAS WITH FRIENDS AT A DINNER TABLE THAT I LEARNED FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT I WAS BORN AT 3:03 IN THE AFTERNOON. I HAD TO LOOK AT MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE, I WAS GOING TO MAZATLAN, MEXICO FOR THE FIRST TIME.

YEARS AGO MY MOTHER TOLD ME I WAS BORN AT THREE.

MY GRANDMOTHER OCHOA ALWAYS MADE IT APPOINT TO TELL ME THAT THE DOCTOR'S BUILDING WAS ' ART DECO ' AND THAT THE NUMBERS WERE MY BIRTH TIME. " YOU WERE BORN THEN BROTHER."  (THE NICK NAME MY SISTER GAVE ME.)

I HAVE YEARS OF NIGHT MARES, JESUS HELP!, MERCY! SEXUAL SHIT,ON AND ON AND ON, TO THE POINT OF, ........


IN THIS TECHNOLOGICAL WORLD AND WHEN I POSTED THE ' IRAQI WAR PICTURES,' WHOEVER YOU WHERE ( FEMALE ), ASKING ME ' DOESN'T THAT/THIS BOTHER YOU? '

YOU FIGURE IT OUT. THERE ARE OVER FIFTEEN ' HITS ' IN THIS HERO'S ACOUNTING FROM CNN BELOW.

THANK YOU.

A QUARTER OF MY LIFE MAKES SENSE.

I'M GOING TO STAY AWAY FROM THIS FOR A WHILE AND THEN PRINT ALL THE ' HITS ' AND WHAT THEY MEAN TO ME, AND MIGHT FOR THE REST OF YOU.


I SPENT OVER TWO YEARS DEFENDING THE RIGHT PEOPLE, MEN RAISED BY THEIR MOTHER'S AND LABELED, AGAINST A HOMOSEXUAL NETWORK, IN ALBQ.,NM. I DID THIS YEARS AGO, THEN ASKED A FRIEND ABOUT THE MEMORIES OF WAKING UP EVERY MORNING ' BEING QUESTIONED, DEFENDING MYSELF AND OTHERS;' OVERWHELMING THAT IT WAS, JUDY MENTIONED THAT IT SOUNDED LIKE AN ' ABDUCTION, AND OR ATTEMPTS.'

MOST OF MY ' MILITARY ' FRIENDS WOULD JUST MENTION, ' LITTLE GREEN MEN.'

ONE HIT

PANSY-" YOU WILL BE USED AS A PANSY/PATSY ( OVERLAYED )" IF YOU EVER WRITE ABOUT THIS.'-THE OTHER, EVELYN'S RELATIVES, THE ' WALKER ' SISTER'S IN TENNESSEE, NEIGHBOR DOLLY PARTON.

VERY NEAR THE SECOND ROUND OF ' ATTACKS,' " I NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL WITH YOU." I THOUGHT ' WHITEY.' A BEAUTIFUL UPPER CLASS MATE. " I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO." BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS WAS IN REFERENCE TO BACK THEN.

ARTICLE-WENDY- THIS CONNECTED TO WILLIAMS ( ROBIN, MORK AND MINDY-TV SHOW ), PAN ( SCULPTURE AND CHILD'S STORY ) AND OTHER'S.

THESE TWO WERE INTERLACED AND ' OBSERVED.' AND I VAGUELY REMEMBER IN THE FIRST ROUND OF ATTACKS AND CLEARLY IN THE SECOND ROUND, " THAT'S WHY WE DON'T NAME OUR CHILDREN AFTER THE ' CHRIST.'" I HEARD THIS IN MY HEAD.

" YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING WITH PRAYER," AS WITH RV.-THIS ABOUT 2007-08.

SECOND HIT

DANIEL-A YOUNG LADY THAT I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH. HER BROTHER LOST HIS LIFE TRYING TO BEAT A TRAIN, WHILE CRAWLING UNDER IT, ALTHOUGH ' WHY SUICIDE ' WAS MENTIONED THEN, RAMONA ELEMENTARY.

YOUNG LADY WHO'S FATHER TRIED TO HANG HIMSELF, HER FATHER. HERE IN HAWAII.

EL PASO, TEXAS. I CUT UP ALL THE CLIMBING ROPE BEFORE I LEFT. I STATED " THAT I DIDN'T WANT SOMEONE TO USE IT FOR SUICIDE; TO HANG THEM SELVES."

" YOUR CRAZY." THE NUT SAID. THIS AT THE EL PASO RESCUE MISSION. DAY AFTER, I CHOOSE HAWAII.

I MIGHT PRINT REST LATER.

Veteran confronts rape, suicide: 'I am angry that others are going through this'

By Moni Basu, CNN

updated 2:22 PM EDT, Sat September 21, 2013

 

Jack Williams attempted suicide after being raped by his drill sergeant in 1966.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

·         Sexual assault is one of two high-profile problems plaguing the military; suicide is the other

·         Jack Williams speaks out in "Justice Denied," which focuses on male victims of sexual assault in military

·         Study: Military victims of violent assault are six times more likely to attempt suicide

Seattle (CNN) -- Jack Williams rejects the table the hostess has chosen in the middle of the Mexican restaurant. He asks for the least desirable faux-leather booth in the back corner, where he can sit with his back to the wall. He can't stand to have people come up behind him. That's what his rapist, an assistant drill sergeant in the Air Force, did almost 50 years ago.

It happened three times, always at about 3 in the morning.

After the third time, Williams walked into the shower at his barracks at Lackland Air Force Base, tied a few towels together and tried to hang himself. Security guards found him unconscious.

A part of Williams died that day in 1966. He was 18. He has not been whole since.

Now 66, he looks back and ponders what his life might have been had he accomplished what he set out to do: to serve his country with pride. Instead, he has lived with rape for 47 years, with permanent injuries that make him depend on a walker, with words like "pansy" and "coward" ingrained in his head.

Sexual assault is one of two high-profile problems plaguing the military; suicide is the other: Twenty-two veterans take their lives every day.

Veteran suicide rate may be more than 22 a day

 

Female veterans coping with PTSD

Williams harbors both demons in his head. He is caught in the nexus of the military's two tragedies.

In May, the Pentagon released results of an anonymous survey on sexual assault: Twenty-six thousand service members reported that they had been sexually assault or harassed in 2012, up from 19,000 the previous year.

Women get most of the attention on this issue because, proportionately, their numbers are much higher. Women make up only about 15% of the active-duty force but account for 47% of sexual assault victims.

Headline-grabbing scandals have usually involved women. Two decades ago, at the Navy's "Tailhook" convention in Las Vegas, drunken aviators assaulted female recruits. Five years later, the Army brought charges against 12 commissioned and noncommissioned officers for the sexual assault of female trainees at Aberdeen Proving Ground in Maryland. Most recently, 22 instructors were convicted in the Air Force's worst sex scandal at Lackland, where Williams was raped almost five decades ago.

Opinion: Why rapists in military get away with it

It's men like him who make up most of the military's sexual assault cases, even though they are less likely to report their assaults. The Pentagon survey found 13,900 male victims. But 76% do not file complaints.

"There's an assumption that rape doesn't happen to men, or they must have been weak and not strong enough to fight (an assailant) off," says Sue Garrison, a psychologist at the Bay Pines VA Healthcare System in Florida.

Bay Pines is the only Department of Veterans Affairs facility in America that offers residential treatment for male victims of military sexual assault as well as women. Evidence suggests that men may suffer more severe symptoms and are less likely to get help, raising the specter of other problems, like suicide.

 

Williams recalls time spent on this fishing pier with his daughter as among the best days of his life.

Stuart Isett for CNN

The causes of suicide are complicated and not wholly understood, but a contributing factor among veterans is sexual trauma.

A study by former Air Force psychologist Craig Bryan found that military victims of violent assault or rape were six times more likely to attempt suicide than nonvictims.

Websites become tool for stopping suicide

One key reason is the enormous sense of betrayal that service members feel when they are assaulted by a brother in arms. The loss of trust is magnified, says Bryan, because the military is such a tight-knit organization whose success depends on group unity and cohesion. And there is little action a victim can take other than report it.

"When it happens, you can't just quit your job or move barracks," Bryan says. "So victims feel more trapped and violated." They may worry about retribution and the impact on their careers.

A string of recent sexual assault cases has ratcheted up pressure on the military and Congress to curb the problem. One scandal involved the Air Force's former head of sexual assault prevention himself, Col. Jeffrey Krusinski, who was arrested in May after he allegedly grabbed a woman's breasts and buttocks.

For Williams, change will come too late. But it's long overdue.

"I am angry that others are going through this," he says. "If it isn't kept in the spotlight, it will go back to business as usual."

And that means more men with the most honorable intentions are destined to suffer -- and maybe even die.

Study: Mental illness, not combat, causes soldier suicides

It's not just about the rape

Williams tells his story on a drive from the Mexican restaurant to a split-level brick house in the suburban city of Bellevue, the childhood home where he nurtured his dreams.

In 1966, some young men feared the Vietnam War enough to dodge the draft. Williams could have, too. A bout of rheumatic fever at 3 could have made him eligible for a medical exemption because the ailment can lead to heart damage. But Williams volunteered for the Air Force.

His grandfather fought in World War I. His uncle fought in the Battle of the Bulge during World War II. His father was in the Army. Williams figured it was his turn. He was suited for that line of work. At 14, he'd gone through rigorous training to become a police cadet. Besides, it was a matter of honor.

In June, he reported to Lackland Air Force Base near San Antonio, Texas. It was where the fresh blood was trained, transformed in a matter of weeks from frightened young men to warriors. There were no calendars, no watches allowed in boot camp. One cadet scratched marks on the wall to count the days.

The only respite from a brutal regimen came in the few hours of sleep. But even that was taken from Williams soon after his arrival.

Williams' disability stems partly from his rape. "Justice Denied" is a film focusing on male victims.

Stuart Isett for CNN

Some told their stories in the critically acclaimed documentary "The Invisible War," which featured victims of military sexual assault. Another emotionally exhausting film, "Justice Denied," focused specifically on male victims.

The men in "Justice Denied" believe that the power of the military, coupled with ignorance in society about the devastating effects of sexual assault on men, has resulted in government failure to address what they call a super-silent epidemic.

The pressure for male victims to keep it all inside is enormous, says Brian Lewis, 33, the first male rape survivor to testify before Congress.

He was raped in August 2000 by a superior noncommissioned officer aboard the USS Frank Cable. He was given a personality disorder diagnosis and discharged from the Navy after he reported the crime.

"Men are still invisible and ignored as survivors of military sexual trauma," Lewis told the Senate Armed Services Committee in March.

He believes that America as a culture has moved beyond blaming female victims for sexual assault but not male victims, and especially not men in the military. They are trained to be tough, to kill.

"I think the general public expects men in the military to defend themselves and are not seen as a victim of a crime," he says.

Or they are seen as being weak or homosexual.

"It's not about sex," Lewis says. "It's about power and control."

Some are perceived as liars. Lewis remembers a psychiatrist at the Naval Medical Center in San Diego telling him that he had made up his story.

"I was there to seek help, and he had basically put a knife in my heart. I don't think I have any words to describe what that moment felt like."

He, like Williams, tried to hang himself. He survived because he didn't know how to tie a proper knot.

"That is a horrible thing for a Navy guy to admit," Lewis says.

He can muster a joke now that he is speaking out, trying to get Congress to pass legislation -- known as the STOP Act -- that would take the reporting, investigation, prosecution and oversight of sexual assault cases out of the chain of command and place it under the jurisdiction of an autonomous oversight committee.

"The military is fundamentally incapable of addressing the crime of sexual assault because the entire justice system is rigged around a commanding officer's authority," Lewis says. "That officer has to choose between two people who are telling opposite stories.

"I carry my discharge as an official and permanent symbol of shame, on top of the trauma of the physical attack, the retaliation and its aftermath," Lewis told lawmakers on the Hill. "I fear it will be discussed when I apply for law school, when I apply to take the bar exam, even when I apply for a job, and I wonder what opportunities it may destroy for me. No one should be forced to undergo such painful and inappropriate treatment."

Williams knows how rape can destroy the life of a young man like Lewis. He stands as testament.

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A coward dies a thousand deaths

The car turns right onto 117th Avenue in Bellevue's Newport Hills neighborhood and stops at No. 5031. It's the house Williams' parents purchased after the family moved from California in 1965.

Williams steps out of the car, straightens his Scooby-Doo tie. He thinks he should be dressed well in public.

He looks at the towering oak in the front yard.

"I planted that in September of '65," Williams says. "It was only 6 feet tall then." Now, it stands at least 50 feet.

Williams likes to talk about the things he was able to accomplish in his early life. He boasts that he put up all the antennas in this neighborhood. He points to the living room of the split-level house. "I got married there, in front of the fireplace," he says.

A neighbor, curious about strangers parked outside, walks up to Williams. "May I help you?"

"Oh, we're just looking," he says. "I used to live in that house. I joined the military from there. I'm a Vietnam-era veteran."

It feels good for Williams to say that aloud. He lives burdened by guilt that he never shipped out for a combat tour with the rest of the guys; that he got to live when others died. Vietnam, he says, "That's unfinished business."

He borrows from Shakespeare. "A coward dies a thousand deaths; a brave man but once. When you are told you are a coward, you die those thousand deaths."

It's about to rain. Williams' wispy white hair flutters in the breeze. Tears stream down his gaunt face.

He doesn't know whether the assistant drill sergeant who raped him is alive still. He'd like to show him X-rays of his broken body. He'd like to tell him the horror within that will never die.

Outside his old house, he says goodbye to the curious stranger and begins to fold up his walker to put in the back seat. Things, Williams tells the man, aren't always what they appear to be.

As a symbol of his troubles, he wears an orange wristband on his left arm with the number of a veterans' crisis line. Next to it is another band with the name of the film he is in: "Justice Denied." He makes sure the two always overlap.

Rape victims say military labels them 'crazy' 

I KNOW THAT I AM IN AN ' INFORMATION HUB,' AND TO A CERTAIN DEGREE SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME, YET I AM GOING TO TRY TO TAKE ABIT MORE TIME BEFORE I WRITE.

I AM ALSO VERY AWARE OF THE DC SHIPYARD KILLINGS, BUT THERE HAVE BEEN TOO MANY ' HAPPENINGS ' WITHIN ' THIS EVENT.'

I ALMOST MET TRAVIS WALTON AND THAT JUST ' BURNS A HOLE IN MY HEAD.!'