PHAETHON STAR-SOBER OVER

[deleted] · 2013-04-26T05:45:42+00:00

Biologist here!
Platypuses are nuts.
They are one of the few venomous mammals in the whole world! Their spurs have a toxin that can interrupt the flow of ions in the cell. What is means is that your muscles and nerves, which rely on ion gradients to work properly, become interrupted, resulting in spastic or locked movement, making your body nearly uncontrollable where the venom has taken effect!
Like I said, they're mammals, which means they produce milk, but, since they are quite strange mammals, the milk isn't produced in the way that other mammals have gone about it, instead, they have modified sweat glands near hairs and grooves on their stomachs! Lacking any type of nipple, they essentially sweat the milk out and hope their babies can lap it up!

2013-04-26T01:24:03+00:00

That should be submitted to threadless or something. It's awesome!

2013-04-26T03:43:52+00:00

If I was that beaver I would fuck the shit outa that platypus

[deleted] · 2013-04-26T03:53:20+00:00

Canaustralia? What a scandal!

2013-04-25T23:46:19+00:00

Once you pop...

2013-04-26T03:17:53+00:00

Beavers seducing platypi happens all the time in Oregon.

2013-04-26T04:59:08+00:00

Looks like someones getting some Platypussy.

2013-04-26T06:43:39+00:00

I had no idea people would enjoy this so much. Found this on Google images when I was studying for a Biology exam.

2013-04-25T22:54:08+00:00

[deleted]

2013-04-26T00:11:49+00:00

Seduces or tricks?

2013-04-26T01:39:18+00:00

that is adorable

[deleted] · 2013-04-26T05:28:53+00:00

[deleted]

2013-04-26T06:26:33+00:00

Aka: online dating

2013-04-26T08:27:24+00:00

I only just now realized how much more awesome "Platypus" is than what it's called in my own language...."birdbeakanimal"...we should start calling it platypus...

2013-04-26T09:49:52+00:00

Where's the karma decay?

2013-04-26T12:09:07+00:00

Stop posting my secrets!

2013-04-26T03:44:53+00:00

holy hell pringles ease up on the viral marketing

2013-04-26T05:39:22+00:00

...can't keep his mind on nothing else, he'll trade the world, for the good thing he's found.

2013-04-26T06:15:29+00:00

I'm 26 and I still can't pop open a can of Pringles and not make a duck face with the chips. It's something you just can't stop doing, even when you're older.

2013-04-26T06:28:48+00:00

That's a nice lookin' beaver.

2013-04-26T06:45:37+00:00

This would never happen in real life. Platypodes are notoriously shy.

2013-04-26T06:57:17+00:00

I want this to belong in /r/aww.

2013-04-26T07:01:00+00:00

Plait her puss or plait her beaver both is fun.

2013-04-26T07:59:05+00:00

This needs to be shown to the Ameristralians or the New Zanadians they'd all LOVE it!

2013-04-26T08:20:16+00:00

One does not simply eat Pringles without making the duck face.

2013-04-26T08:35:52+00:00

I love this.

2013-04-26T09:41:44+00:00

Reminds me of Pepe Le Pew.

2013-04-26T10:35:50+00:00

Now we get to listen to people use the term "Beaver-Puss" in mature conversation!

2013-04-26T11:48:33+00:00

Hope the beaver is the female because if it's a boy, he gonna get poisoned when she realizes the farce.

2013-04-26T12:15:11+00:00

Allow me to educate you on platypuses in song:
http://none/

2013-04-26T12:29:43+00:00

:) - my reaction.

2013-04-26T12:45:02+00:00

A beaverpuss? Rather redundant, wouldn't you say?

2013-04-26T17:57:13+00:00

ive been seduced by beavers before...

2013-04-26T18:36:29+00:00

I feel very seduced

2013-04-26T19:35:46+00:00

That sounds like the euphemismiest thing in the world

2013-04-26T03:37:38+00:00

This may be one of the best pictures I have seen all night. My two favorite animals.

2013-04-26T03:39:34+00:00

Genuinely laughed out loud. This is the cutest thing.

2013-04-26T05:07:54+00:00

I wrote a story about something similar back in high school. Maybe you guys will like it!
Patty, Chuck, And Buck A Children’s Story
Once upon a time, there was a very wet marsh in the Australian Outback. Here lived Patty the simple minded platypus, she was eight years old and looking for a mate. This idea came about when she was thinking to herself and said, “Hmmm, I think I need a mate.”
So she went to a bunch of night clubs and various other “hot spots” that attracted other people. But these places only had people and no platypuses, and that was no good for her.
“Those places are no good for me.” She said to herself on her way back home after another uneventful night. When she was about five minutes away from her den she saw another platypus! He was just minding his own business when she came running up to him huffing and puffing.
“Hi, who are you?” Patty asked in her hoarse, duck-like voice, “I’m Patty.”
“Why I’m Chick,” he replied, “I am looking to get myself a mate. You Interested?”
“Golly, sure!” She said with great enthusiasm.
This turned out to be a wonderful relationship. They ate together, walked together, and even shared the same piece of dental floss. Heck, they were practically inseperable.
So one day Chuck got on all fours and proposed. Of course, Patty said yes. It was a beautiful wedding, considering there was only the two of them and the koala minister who was very expensive. There was cake, dancing, and the minister even doubled as a one-man band for just double the price.
After a couple of months in marriage Patty laid one large platypus egg. She and Chuck were ever so happy, and could not wait for it to hatch.
Six weeks later out popped a funny looking platypus with a larger and flatter tail, buck teeth, and had no bill whatsoever. It was a boy and he had a funny accent, but his parents still loved him, even though his constant “ehing” got very annoying. His name was Buck.
He grew up and had rather hard times during his childhood, since he looked and talked so much differently than the other platypus.
So one day he ran home crying to his mother.
“All the other kids made fun of me again today!” He told he mother.
Patty thought how he looked different and how much she loved him.
“I know you look different, but I love you very much.”
This is what Patty always told him whenever he had a problem, and it always made him feel instantly better.
“Thanks mom, I feel instantly better.” He said as he went off to bed.
As soon as Buck was 18 he left home and said he was going to swim to new land over the eastern ocean.
“I’m leaving to swim over the ocean to look for new land where I will be accepted,” he told his parents the day he was leaving.
“Goodbye son, we will miss ya.”
Buck set off for the ocean right away. He swam and swam and swam and found new land. Here he found others just like him. They said he was a “beaver.”
“You are a beaver,” they said.
“I’m home…” He said as the sun went down on his new home.
The End
*Edit: Formatting

2013-04-26T04:15:16+00:00

Nice Repost

2013-04-26T03:44:31+00:00

Fuck you, cockhead

2013-04-26T03:19:22+00:00

Made me smile. That's awesome.

2013-04-26T04:23:33+00:00

I nearly threw up that was so cute

2013-04-26T02:51:53+00:00

Interspecies erotica ? Is this what reddit has been reduced too haha

2013-04-26T03:58:38+00:00

Yup. I need to go to bed.

2013-04-26T04:10:58+00:00

Beaverpus?

2013-04-26T04:12:15+00:00

Sounds like a David Sedaris book.

[deleted] · 2013-04-26T04:29:35+00:00

this should be on r/ameristralia

2013-04-26T04:36:12+00:00

Once you pop, the fun don't stop. If you know what I mean.

2013-04-26T05:06:42+00:00

All this makes me think of is fucking duck lips

2013-04-26T05:20:05+00:00

This looks like a new zanadian trying to seduce an Ameristralian...

2013-04-26T07:10:03+00:00

http://none/
now the beaver is a sexual predator, faking it's way into the platypus's pants.

[deleted] · 2013-04-26T02:41:51+00:00

More like when a beaver mocks a platypus

2013-04-26T02:54:16+00:00

he's obviously dosen't like her brains

PHAETHON STAR-SOBER OVER

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