http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/07/politics/fbi-helped-thwart-nuclear-smuggling-plot-in-moldova/index.html
OH, AND THIS TOO.......I FOUND A FOUR LEAF CLOVER, BUT WON'T TAKE PICTURE CAUSE, WELL, FAITH.......................YOU KNOW ? YOU CAN'T HAVE IT !
OH ! AND WELL, THIS TOO..............................I GUESS.
WALLET
OH YEAH, THERE WAS THIS WALLET THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY AND I FOUND IT, AND WELL............UMMM...........WELL..IT KINDA ' FELL ' DOWN FROM THE ' HEIGHTS ' OF.... WELL, THE SKY ! OH YES IT DID ! DID TOO ! LISTEN FU......., NEVER MIND ! DID TOO.....AND I HEARD A SCREAM FROM THE SKY AND ' HE ( I THINK ) ' REACHED INTO HIS PANT'S POCKET AND SCREAMED FROM SO HIGH ! " TELL FE-FE I LOVE H.....! " AND AS THE ' LIGHTS ' STREAKED STRAIGHT UP ' HIS ( I THINK ? ) ' VOICE DIMINISHED AND ALL FELL SILENT AS THE LEAVES ' SPUN ' AROUND WHERE THE WALLET ' FELL ! '
GOSH ! IT WAS SO ' BEAUTIFUL,' TO HAVE SEEN THIS ' MIRACLE AND ALL THOSE PRETTY COLORS, SO BRIGHT, SO MANY ' GRABBING ' THAT MAN ( ? ) FROM THE GROUND, STRAIGHT UP IN A ' BURST ' OF BLINDING LIGHT AS IF TO CANCEL THE VISUAL CORTEX AND COAX THE MIND INTO A REGISTRATION OF TOTAL ' STRUCTURED ' BLACKNESS; A HOLE !
ANYWAY, SO I CALLED THE POLICE SO THAT WHEN THE ' GREENE'S ' DROP ' HIM ( I THINK ) ' OFF, AS OPPOSED TO ' SPILL,' I HAVE FAITH; ANYWAY I NEVER ' TOLD ' THE POLICE HERE IN SANTE TAOS, NM. THAT I SAW THE ' WHOLE THING,' CAUSE, WELL JUST IN CASE ' I MIGHT OF MADE IT ALL UP ' AND, WELL, CAUSE ANYWAY THAT'S WHAT I ' LEARNED ' IN ALBUQUERQUE, NM. CAUSE WELL, FIREMEN ( ??? ) AND POLICE ( ??? ) THERE ' WALK ON WATER ' AND PERFORM ' MIRACLE,' KINDA IN REVERSE, ' NOW HE'S ALIVE, WOW ! NOW HE'S NOT ! ' YOU BETTER TELL THEM YOU MADE IT ALL UP YOU MUTHA F ( OH MY GOSH ! ) ER ! '
SO. I WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAVED AT ONE SQUAD CAR AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND GOT UP TO SCRATCH MY ' BALLS,' THE PUT SOME CHEWING TOBACCO IN MY MOUTH, BUT NOT UNNECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER ! THEN I WAITED, OH, WAIT, PARDON THE ' PUN,' UM, HUM, WELL..........OH YEAH, THEN ' I ' SAT DOWN AND WAITED WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED......WHOOOO !
SO, THEN I CALLED THE POLICE AGAIN TO LET THEM KNOW THAT I WAS GOING TO ' SMITHS ' FOR LUNCH CAUSE AT ST. GERTRUDE'S THEY WONT GIVE US FOOD CAUSE WERE POOR AND THAT I WAS ' VERY, VERY, VERY,VERY, VERY SORRY,' BUT I WAS HUNGRY ! AND SHE SAID IT WAS OK. OH YEAH, I TOLD HER OF THE FIFFTY THREE DOLLARS AND ALL THE CREDIT CARDS AND THE SANTE TAOS DRIVERS LICENSE AND ALL THE COOL STUFF IN THAT ' BLUE ( DEMOCRAT BABY KILLER'S AND VERY EVIL DOER'S WALLET CAUSE ( OFF ON A TANGENT NOW, BEAR WITH ME, PLEASE. THANK YOU. ) THEY CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH BABIES CAUSE THEY'RE PRO-RE-GRESSIVE AND ' HATE CHILDREN ' FROM BIRTH AND ' JUST ' MARRY WOMEN WITH MUSTACHE AND SIDE BURNS: LESBIANS. )
ANYWAY, SO, I WAITED AND HAD A BITE OF SANDWICH, AND WAITED, AND.....YES, IT WAS VERY GOOD, A LITTLE ON THE SOGGY SIDE, BUT THE CHIPS WERE EXCELLENT AND THE SODA, WELL ! LET ME TELL YO.......HUH, OH.........AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED, OH,............YEAH, SO, THEN I HAD SOME CHEWING TOBACCO AND SPIT ! OOPS ! HOLD ON............THERE WE GO, ALL BETTER NOW; THEN I WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AN......................" HELLO, YES THAT'S ME, WELL I'M GOING TO ST. GERTRUDE'S NOW, HUM ? YES STILL THE BIG RED SHIRT ! YUP ! STILL THERE, HMMM, OH FIFTY THREE, UH HUH, OK THEN ' SEE YOU ! ' THEN I RODE MY BIKE BACK TO ST.GERTRUD'S AND LISTENED TO...........HMMM.....WELL WHAT ' APPEARS ' TO BE A FORM OF ' ENGLISH ' SOMETIMES; THEN WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND......OH ! YEAH.......HM, THEN I CHANGED ' CHEWS ' AND ' LISTENED,' WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT, HMMM! THEN I WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND ' shit ! '
WELL HELL, I'LL JUST FIND ONE ! SO,THEN I RODE MY BIKE AFTER A POLICE OFFICER AND CAME UPON THIS CAR THAT SAID ' CHANNEL 7, ( BASTARDS GOT ' THEIR ' OWN TV STATION ! )' AND THOUGHT, ' WELL.......WHY THEY HERE ? ' SO, THEN I LOOKED UP, THEN DOWN, AND THEN SIDE TO SIDE, JUST THE WAY ' I ' TAUGHT ALL YOU NEW MEXI-SILIC-CANS, AND SAW ' ATTORNEY GENERAL ! ' BET THE ATTORNEY GENERAL CAN RETURN THE WALLET TO THE ALIEN ABDUCTEE, 'CEPTING, OF COURSE..............., ' HE ( ? ) ' WASN'T ' SPILT ' ALL OVER THE PAVEMENT ! ( ? )
WELL, AFTER SPEAKING TO THE STATE OR FEDERAL GUARD AND EXPLAINING MY PREDICAMENT, AND ' ATTEMPT, BUT ' RELUCTANCE ' TO EVER BE HONEST AGAIN, CAUSE WELL............I GOT ABOUT THREE APPOINTMENTS. IN ABBI-NOT-SO-NORMAL, ALL DOCTOR'S, AND I REALLY DON'T LIKE THEM THAT MUCH, BUT I HAVE TOO.....HUH ? WELL, CAUSE I WAS INJURED SOME MANY TIMES, LETS SEE, HIT BY A BUS, BIKE ACCIDENT, ANOTHER FLASHY ( GUN SHOT ), SOMETHING ABOUT ' ROOTS IN A CANAL ) AND ' YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR ' GUTS ' FALL OUT, AND THEN...HUH..( ? ).....OH, SO, ( ^ ) AND NO REAL MONEY TO PAY FOR THE ' SHUTTLE ' SOMETIMES CALLED ' A, OR THE, TRAIN. SO, THIS OTHER ' IMPORTANT ' GUY COMES OVER AND SHOWS ME A ' REAL COOL ' BADGE AND I EXPLAIN WHAT......LETS SEE......I'M HOMELESS AND........ANYWAY, WHAT ' CREEPS ' AND ASS..UH, HMM.............' ACCENTUATED BLUNDERS ' THOSE ' GUYS,' MUCH LIKE ALBUQUERQUE'S ' FIRE DEPARTMENT ' DUDES ( HA,HA,HA,HA,HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! HEE ! ) AND THE GENTLEMAN TOOK IT AND SAID THAT HE WOULD ' RETURN ' IT ( WALLET ) TO THE ABDUCTEE ( ALLEGED ) IF........FOUND IN ONE PIECE, NOT SPILT; ALIVE.
WHAT A NICE GENTLEMAN TO FIND THE OWNER OF THAT WALLET. SO, BE VERY ' CAREFUL ' WHAT YOU FIND KIDS, AND NEVER, NEVER, EVER PICK UP ' THINGS ' OFF THE STREET, MOST ESPECIALLY IF YOUR RIDING YOUR BIKE.
SAFETY FIRST !
AND ' NEVER PAY ATTENTION ' TO ALL THAT ' NOISE ! '
SO, ANYWAY.........WELL, LETS SAVE THAT FOR LATER........
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